is my little sister Ruth. She's so cute. I hate her. She's
such a goody-two-shoes. I never could do anything
without her squealing to mom. But does she ever get caught
doing anything herself? Of course not. And you see that t-shirt?
That's my t-shirt! She's always stealing my clothes
when I'm not looking. She also stole my boyfriend when I was
a senior and she was just a stinkin' sophomore. I will
have my revenge!
other sister, Elizabeth. She's Ruth's twin, but very cool.
She's an artist. One of her ironwork sculptures was recently
installed behind Coit Tower in San Francisco. You can't see
it unless you walk around the tower and through some trees,
but we're all very proud of her. We're not quite sure what
it's supposed to be; Elizabeth says it's an answer to "the
blatant phallic worship that Coit Tower represents",
but to me it looks a bit like a fighter plane that crashed
into a tank.
baby sister, Mary. We're not really sure why Mom chose to
name her Mary, 'cause we're Jewish, other than Mom said something
about being mad at God when she got pregnant again. It doesn't
really matter, 'cause she insists that we all call her Jezebel.
Mary/Jezebel can't decide whether to become a fashion designer
for Hot Topic, an anarchist, or the lead singer for a goth
band. We're just hoping she doesn't try to set her room on
Dear old Mom. She was supposed
to be taking a picture of me and my date before we went to
prom. She was a bit drunk. Dad says she drinks because we
make her cry.
This is Aunt Jean. She's a peach.
She runs the synagogue women's circle, bakes pies for every
school fundraiser, and volunteers at the pet shelter. My sisters
and I all love Aunt Jean. We spend as much time at her house
as we can. We don't care what our cousins Marcie and Jane
say about her, Aunt Jean is the best.
Our cousin Jane doesn't talk
much. She spends a lot of time in the basement watching TV
and smoking. She says they're hand-rolled cigarettes, but
they smell funny. Jane and Mary like to go out to the cemetary
at night a lot. They must be looking for ghosts.
the time she was 18, cousin Marcie had had two abortions and
spent a year in juvie for taking a cop car and crashing it
into the river. We still can't believe that she was able to
swim to shore with the handcuffs still on. Nowdays she sings
for a punk band called Vaginal Discharge and has been arrested
for onstage indecent exposure in three counties. She says
she's going to show me how to pierce my own nipples. Yay!
This picture of Aunt Gloria
was taking while she and our cousin Hope were staying with
us during Aunt Gloria's trial. She was aquitted, but they
never have found Uncle Sherman. She seemed so broken up about
it that we were all surprised when she married Uncle Frank
so quickly. Uncle Frank hasn't been seen for a few weeks now.
Aunt Gloria says he often likes to go for really long drives by himself.
Hope (aka "Don't fucking call me that.") runs a
tattoo and piercing parlor out of the back of her van. She
says she has to move her shop around all the time because
there was a mixup with the permit. She goes by the name Weyrdragon
now and says she's going to legally change her name to that
once she has the money. Mom says she's a saint for taking
in all those young girls who live on the streets. Hope/Weyrdragon
must be awfully generous with her money, because they never
need to stay with her for more than a couple of weeks.