Olivander visits a dark alley
I bought a set of typewriter keys today. Just the keys. From a…a…keychopper. I feel so dirty. This must be how Republicans feel when they get caught by vice cops in airport bathroom stalls. Is it wrong to patronize one of the denizens of typewriting’s sleazy underbelly if the goal is to restore another typewriter? It wasn’t a collectible or particularly old typewriter. A late-’60s Montgomery Ward model whose keys happen to be identical matches for an Olivetti Valentine’s.
Afterward, I saw all the other sets of keys the person was selling. Perfect, round, chromed keys, looking at me like puppies in a mill as I walk away with one of their siblings inside my coat.
I’m going to hell for sure.
Ugh. I think I need to wash.
I’m surprised the chopper even bothered with the plastic keys. The “jewelry” that they make can’t attain even half the gaucheness of that made with glass keys.
So aside from the sense of completeness, why restore the infamous typing trashcan?
(Feeling snarky)
Comment by mpclemens — September 10, 2008 @ 6:39 pm
Dear Repentant Sinner,
Normally I’d say yes, you’re going straight to hell. This blog post, though, is close enough to confession – as long as you also rattle some beads. Ten Hail Marys and two Our Fathers, please, as long as you don’t make a rosary out of the rest of those snipped keys.
I absolve you.
signed,
Sister Mary Catfish
Comment by monda — September 10, 2008 @ 9:38 pm
Sister Mary Catfish: I was thinking of offering up the remainder on Typeswap. In that way, perhaps other typewriters can be brought back to life through this one set. The same way the donated organs of a drunk driver’s victim can save many other lives, it’s the one good thing that can come from this tragedy.
As to the “typing trashcan”…
Not all of us despise the Valentine. It’s certainly no SM4 to type on, but it’s adequate, and I happen to like the way it looks.
I think it’s become fashionable among typewriter collectors to heap disdain upon the Valentine because so many non-collectors venerate it. I see it in every collecting circle (“Speed Graphics are junk.” “Thelonious Monk was a hack.”)
I have a longer response to this mindset, but it’s only half-formulated. It may end up being a typecast someday–written on an Olivetti Valentine.
Comment by olivander — September 11, 2008 @ 11:11 am
The dig was intended at the machine, of course, not the owner. Except for styling, I don’t see what the fuss is about: it’s essentially a Lettera in a plastic case, and that just hits all the wrong notes with me.
I would comment that its overpriced for what it is, but thanks to the likes of MyTypewriter.com and MrTypewriter.com, our local Craigslist market is lousy with ads for $250 Royals and $300 Smith-Coronas. The last Valentine I saw advertised locally ON CL — sans case, sans handle, mind you — was offered at $450.
I’m not bitter about the machine; I’m just upset at its use as a means to get a Fast Buck. (Similar for the keychopper’s “craft,” I suppose.) For someone looking for a pretty, modern object d’art to plunk in their living room, $450 may not seem like a lot of cash. For a Useful Typing Machine it’s absurd. I think it’s my Midwestern roots showing through, but I tend to venerate the practical above the (perceived) beautiful.
Comment by mpclemens — September 11, 2008 @ 2:05 pm
It just so happens that I’ve formed an underground protest movement, PEKS (People Against Keychopping Scum) who plan to TP your trees with typewriter ribbon.
You’ve been warned.
Comment by Strikethru — September 21, 2008 @ 11:17 pm