Holy s**t moment

I just had a scary revelation-type moment. And by “revelation”, I’m talking winged demons, tormented-souls-screaming-in-the-pits-of-hell biblical-style revelation. It provoked the same heart-pounding terror that I frequently feel upon bolting upright in bed out of a nightmare that ends with an aid waking Palin in the middle of the night and saying, “Madam Vice President, President McCain is dead.”

What if…

• Obama wins Tuesday…
• Ted Stevens manages to retain his Senate seat, only to lose his appeal and be forced to resign in shame and slink off to his modest hunting chalet insulated with bribe money in the Alaskan wilderness…
• Sarah Palin appoints herself to fill Stevens’ vacant Senate seat.

It could happen. Here in Minnesota, after Senator Walter Mondale won the Vice Presidency, Governor Wendell Anderson resigned and appointed himself as Mondale’s successor. He took a lot of heat for it; it was political suicide, really. But since when has political suicide ever been an obstacle for The Maverick?

Gonna go donate ten bucks to Mark Begich.

Speaking of Ted “The Internet is a series of tubes” Stevens’ conviction, here’s a gem from the Capitol Hill newspaper, Roll Call:

The juror who was dismissed from the criminal trial of Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) to attend the funeral of her father in California admitted Monday that her father had not died, and that she went to California to attend a horse race.

…

Appearing disheveled and confused and brandishing a thick stack of dog-eared papers, Hinnant told the judge that in the spring she had purchased tickets to the Breeders’ Cup event in Santa Anita on Oct. 24 and 25.

Hinnant then began to tell a convoluted story about criminal activity in the horse racing industry, alleging that her phone had been tapped and that someone she once worked with in the industry was involved in crime and drugs.

The judge attempted to dismiss her, but Hinnant continued to tell her tale, ultimately asking the judge, “Can I have a case of my own?”

…

After Hinnant left the courtroom, Sullivan told the attorneys in Stevens’ case that he had dismissed her because she was unable to continue to serve on the jury, and “what you heard today just reinforces the correctness of the court’s decision.”

Update: as it turns out, Alaska law was changed in 2004 to require a special election within 90 days in the event of a vacated seat. It’s murky on whether the Governor can appoint an interim senator until then. And now that both Stevens and his fellow Alaskan scofflaw Rep. Don Young are poised to win re-election, there could be a very interesting mess on the tundra soon. And let’s not forget that homebound governor Palin still faces a legislative ethics board.

Alaska: the new Florida!