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Anytime I hear anything by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, I think of a guy I went to school with who idolized the band. He liked to dress like the lead singer, scarf, little round sunglasses, the works. I remember he also had a “Frankie says RELAX!” t-shirt. We tried to tell him that they were all gay–I mean, what do you think those lyrics mean?– but he refused to believe it. “They are not!” he would retort hotly.

I wonder if he ever found the dangling light bulb cord, pulled it, and discovered himself to be in the closet?