“Call me paranoid, but given all the manipulative tricks the Republicans have gotten up to recently, I am prepared to believe that this has less to do with Homeland security and more to do with keeping the American public ignorant and free of foreign influence and inspiration. An ill-informed, isolated, ignorant populace is a populace easily manipulated. Fed a diet of reality shows coupled with faith-based reasoning (an oxymoron if ever there was one) and you have a perfect recipe for a country in which the government that can do more or less whatever it wants. Democracy becomes a farce without access to information.”

–David Byrne, on the denial of visas to foreign artists.

We’re in Bed, Bath & Beyond today (DON’T say anything!). I’m looking at their wall clocks because in my advancing years I’ve discovered that the pale blue LEDs of the VCR don’t quite cut it anymore. Along come two college-age girls. I don’t really pay much attention to what they’re saying until I hear, “I don’t know. I don’t think I’m ready for a clock.” The utterance slithered into my ear, surrounded by brain, and began choking the life out of it.

At
what
POINT
in anyone’s life are they not “ready” for a clock? Time is one of the basic elements of our universe. Buying a clock isn’t one of those major, life-altering decisions, folks. It’s a double-A battery, a flake of quartz, some cheap plastic gears, and two sticks of differing lengths encased in a flimsy plastic housing. You’re ready for that. Maybe not a Rolex. Maybe not a GOOD clock that’s accurate and won’t have to be reset every week. Maybe not anything made primarily of non-synthetic materials. But you’re ready for the crap they sell at B,B & B.

Do something nice for your world.

I believe it’s testimony to how far our culture has sunk that the man-eating monster in my nightmares looks so poorly computer-generated that it completely fails to be scary.

“The reason the judiciary has been able to impose a separation of church and state that’s nowhere in the Constitution is that Congress didn’t stop them. The reason we had judicial review is because Congress didn’t stop them. The reason we had a right to privacy is because Congress didn’t stop them.”

–Rep Tom DeLay, giving us a glimpse into his theocratic, judicial-free, omniscient utopia, in an interview with the Washington Times.

Cold-air intake installed
Originally uploaded by olivander.

My very first DIY performance upgrade! I swapped out the stock air intake with a cold-air intake. A CAI allows more air into the engine at cooler temperature, which increases engine efficiency and power. I regret going cheap, because the kit fit poorly and the instructions were abysmal. I ended up finding an online how-to. Though it was for a different brand, it was similar enough for me to figure out what went where.

Pope John Paul II was buried today amid spectacular popular turnout. The funeral brings to a close the long reign of a famously conservative man who assumed the papacy during Jimmy Carter’s presidency. Some called his views old-fashioned and said they alienated younger Catholics. We couldn’t help but wonder if the College of Cardinals will take that into consideration when they convene to select a new pope. With a heavy dose of speculation, we give you:

Top ten signs the new pope is attuned to the youth culture

10. His blog is popular, but is made up mostly of links to BoingBoing, Wonkette, and Daily Kos posts.
09. Sends a “shout out” to his “homeboy in Heaven” during Sunday mass.
08. After his death, is nominated for sainthood on the basis of the miracle of his impeccable eBay feedback rating.
07. 24″ spinners on the popemobile.
06. Ornate papal vestments now referred to as “bling”.
05. Can be seen at his apartment window jamming to an iPod.
04. Basilica Square turned into skateboard park.
03. Christens himself Pope Sean Paul I.
02. Runs Popester file sharing service from his Vatican bedroom computer.
01. Shows up on Paris Hilton’s Sidekick.

I uploaded to Flickr some of my nicer zen rocks, or suiseki. Suiseki (literally “water rocks”) are also known as scholar stones or viewing stones. Rather than sculpting the stone, its natural beauty is displayed and highlighted. Nature is, after all, the ultimate artist. Ideally, the stone should resemble a larger part of nature in miniature. That’s why suiseki are often associated with bonsai. Traditionally, suiseki sit upon painstakingly carved wooden stands called diaza. I have neither the patience nor the competence to create nice stands for my rocks. For that reason, and the relatively poor viewing quality of the stones, I refer to my rocks as suiseki lite.

If you’d like to see what good suiseki stones look like, here are some real suiseki sites.

Oh, my freakin’ gawd. This guy got arrested when he tried to pay for something at Best Buy with $2 bills. Those people at Best Buy displayed the same level of education you normally only see behind the counter at Taco Hell or Burger Thing.

My favorite line is, “It’s a sign that we’re all a little nervous in the post-9/11 world.”* Right. Because anyone using uncommon legal tender must be suspicious. Everyone knows that good, patriotic Americans only use $20 bills straight from the ATM. I think I’m gonna get some Sacajawea dollar coins and try to spend them at Taco Hell…

*as long as everyone else is going it, I might as well begin citing 9/11 as a rationalization for everything. “Oliver, why isn’t the new file server ready yet?” “You know, you can’t be too hasty in a post-9/11 world.”